Love Is Not

We must be careful to examine ourselves through the lens of the Word of God. When we do, we come to understand that God is love, and those who are in Christ are commanded to love in the same sacrificial manner demonstrated by Jesus Christ.

Through the Holy Spirit, we learn not only what love is but also what love is not. This spiritual discernment helps us avoid behaviors that are contrary to God’s nature.

In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul clearly defines the character of love while also revealing its opposites. In 1 Corinthians 13:4–6 (KJV), he writes:

“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.”

The word charity here means love. These verses teach us that genuine, God-centered love rejects certain attitudes and behaviors.

Love Is Not:

• Envious – harboring resentment or discontent because someone else has what we desire. Love does not compete; it celebrates others.

• Prideful – making a vain display of one’s own worth or accomplishments. Love remains humble.

• Arrogant – acting self-important or conceited. Love does not elevate itself above others.

• Boastful – drawing attention to personal achievements or possessions. Love seeks no spotlight.

• Rude – behaving in an impolite or disrespectful way. Love honors others.

• Selfish – focusing chiefly on personal gain or pleasure. Love considers the needs of others.

• Retaliatory – seeking revenge or trying to “get even.” Love chooses forgiveness.

• Evil – engaging in moral wrong or intentional harm. Love reflects goodness.

• Greedy – driven by an intense desire for wealth, power, or control. Love is content and generous.

We must be transformed and our nature must be changed. If we are truly in Christ, our nature must change to align with God’s nature. This transformation is only possible through Jesus Christ’s sacrifice and the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Because God is love, behaviors that contradict love must be avoided. The antithetical characteristics of love have no place in the life of a believer. Instead, we are called to reflect the true nature of God loving patiently, humbly, selflessly, and sacrificially.

This is not merely moral improvement; it is spiritual transformation.

When Christ lives in us, His love flows through us.